Unfortunately, I think the vast majority of people have at some point in their lives experienced some form of negativity towards themselves from other people. This really saddens me, not only because I’ve been a victim to it myself but because I don’t understand why it happens. It can be really hard to hear your peers say harsh things about yourself, especially untrue things. I have been named many things in my life and if I were to listen to every single one of them I wouldn’t be the confident person I am today. Dealing with this hate and bullying is so hard to do and can take a lot of guts, so I thought I would share my top 5 tips on how to pick yourself up and become even stronger!
- Don’t Respond. This is so important, hence, it’s number one. People that say hurtful things are only saying them to get a reaction. They want you to show some form of weakness or sadness as a result of the comment. By not giving them this the chances are they won’t bother you again as they know you’re not going to give them the response they want.
- Don’t Stop Doing What Caused The Comment. If you’ve taken an amazing photo of yourself (and let’s face it they all would be) and someone comments something nasty don’t stop taking those photos! It’s the same as verbally responding, you’ve fallen victim to the comment which isn’t what you deserve. Just keep doing it like you were before to show just how irrelevant that negativity was to you!
- Give Out More Compliments. How is that going to help with your negative comment givers? It’s about changing your mindset. When you read or hear negative comments your brain switches into that pessimistic mode. By having to think about positives for others your brain switches back into positive mode and the effect the comment had on you is pushed away. Plus giving out compliments is such a great way to make yourself feel better too, seeing how happy the other person is as a result makes you happy too!
- Re-evaluate Relationships. If these negative comments are coming from people close to you, whether this is family, friends, colleagues or partners, think about whether you really are prepared to have that sort of negativity surrounding you. If the people close to you can’t except you and all your fabulousness then they’re not worth your time. I know it can be hard to remove people from your life so just try to limit their involvement and influence as hurtful comments are now place to surround yourself with.
- Flip It. Whatever is the subject of the comment like personality or appearance flip it into a positive. If someone comments on how ‘your thighs are too fat’ flip it to ‘my thighs are curvy and womanly like they should be’, if someone comments on how ‘you have no boobs, you’re too skinny’ flip it to ‘my body was made this way, I can’t help that so they’re perfect’, or if someone calls you ‘bossy’ or ‘strict’ flip it to ‘I’m assertive and I know what I want. Having drive and direction is a good thing.’ There’s positives in every negative you just have to think.
Hopefully, these five tips will help you if ever you should find yourself in a place where someone’s giving you negativity, although it would be really nice if you never actually have to use these tips! So I hope you are only ever surrounded by positivity and kindness, without anyone knocking your crown!