Unedited.

I’ve always loved writing. I’ve loved having the blog as a way to truly express myself and my feelings. To feel connected and yet disconnected from the things going on in my life. Sometimes I just sit down and write without thinking about what sentence will come next, or what even the words I type out on the keyboard will even mean. If I stop to think, or to look up from the keys, I lose track and this all kind of feels strange and weird. I love having writing as a release. A way to look at things objectively. A chance for other people to read what’s going on in my head. I never write with a specific agenda anymore. I used to write with the ambition that this blog would become my income; my career. But I’ve found that idea scary. Too surreal for me to really have the belief in it. I’ve had countless compliments on the pieces I write; how people love how raw I sometimes am. But for me, I guess that feels so distant. Don’t get me wrong I love what I do. Teaching is a passion of mine and I love spending my days working with the children I have the privilege of having in my class. I love teaching them how to read, write and recognise numbers, how to find their place in this crazy world. I love it. I guess it’s similar to this blog in a way. It’s an extension of me, a way of sharing what I know. I’m no one special or have anything particularly special to share and yet that doesn’t stop me. People do read what I write and I love that feeling. I find my best pieces, my most loved pieces, are those that took me ages to write. The ones that I really feel I’ve poured my heart and soul into. I don’t think about what people want to read I think about what I want to write. The second I figured that out my whole blog became a whole lot more enjoyable to me. You’ll barely ever see me promoting my content as I don’t have the time for that anymore. I love it when people comment and share what they’ve enjoyed reading – it makes me feel warm inside knowing someone has enjoyed or connected with my words. I never thought this blog would have massive success and thousands of readers but I did know I’d love it. I set up my first blog at the age of 18 in my first year of my undergraduate degree; and here I am at 22 with a postgraduate degree to my name. So many things have changed in my life, but this place on the internet has remained a constant. It’s always been there when I needed it. I can look back at it, see my journey as well as its own. The old posts, the old words written by an old version of myself. The same me, but different. I’m a different person to who I was then. I’m a better person now. I was a great person then but I’ve grown so much. I think back to who I was. A girl just trying to figure things out. I got bullied and beaten down back then but now I am stronger. I’ve taken some hits, like everybody does, but I know how to come back stronger. The friends I’ve made, the family that have always been there and the partner in life I now have have all made this journey special and my own. Today I just chose to sit down and write and see where the words took me, and this is where I am. Unedited. Unfiltered. Me.

Ox

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